Hotels and middles aged men !

“Home is where the heart is”, “home-made food is the best food” – nice lines these and oft-repeated too, we all agree. I have always been fascinated by this penchant us commoners have of using famous idioms or phrases in between our conversations.  But I would like to propose a change in the usage of these famous lines. I propose we leave space or add space for relativity to be accommodated. Confused? Well let me explain with an example.

“Home is where the heart is for those who stay away”, “home-made food is the best food, for those who eat out otherwise” – getting my drift?  This is because people who stay at home or eat home food, secretly enjoy and cherish their times spent in hotels! No offense but I find the middle aged men enjoy their tours more than the young 20s something employee.

I have stayed in a few hotels across the country due to my travels and have always noticed the 40s something men who are there on business or official trips, feel more young, energetic and chatty at the hotels.  It seems they are soaking in the comforts, attention and variety of food and beddings. I am profiling these men but bear with me – they have been married 10-15 years or more, have kids, a modest house and good savings. They have been living in the same house with the same wife and the same kids day in and day out, eating the same food, going to the same temples and parks. Monotony is the norm and there is nothing new left to explore, be it in bed or in town.  Their desires from domesticity are dwindling and are satiated to a large extent.

Such men when they come on a business tour and stay in a 3-4 star hotel where the bed is soft, the tv is all for himself, the breakfast is complimentary, the room fridge stocks drinks and soda – tends to be in a better place mentally than at home.  He whistles while he bathes in the hot shower (compared to the mug and bucket bathing ritual at home), lathers the shaving gel and shampoo provided by the hotel, drapes the huge hotel towel around his bulge and admires himself in the mirror, trimming his moustache and strands of white hair.  There is nothing sexual about this; it’s just a person enjoying the comforts which are not available at home.  They step down from the elevator and greet the receptionists, ask some innate questions, plonk on the lounge sofa and glance through the newspapers before heading back to the room. In general they are extremely happy now. Of course in between their work hours they are extremely focused on their business and do not indulge, but once evening comes, they are back to their cheerful best.

 Yet there is no linkage between the socio-economic class of men and this behavior.  All men irrespective of where they come from, are happy to be away from home, it’s just the manifestations are in different ways. I sometimes wonder how their wives too must want a break from the chores and the monotony.  So I started noticing the women in the hotels. Yet I struggled to find happiness to the scale I noticed in the men folk.  The women are happy to be not cooking, cleaning and taking care of the house for a change, but they eat in silence, carry themselves with dignity, again irrespective of the socio-economic class they belong to and are in general very businesslike in their behavior. 

So I propose that the powers that be of the English language, need to use certain measure of relativity before coining such statements.  Maybe home is the best place form us young guys who have had enough of hotels and travels. Maybe home food is best food for us who shiver at another meal at the nearby hotel. Maybe hotels are for the uncles who need that break from the chaos and monotony of domesticity.  “Home is where the heart is – intermittently” !