falling with a 'thud'

Sometimes optimism can be a bitch ! you think positive and think that things will work out... but naaah! it doesnt happen sometimes that way ! Life can be a bitch some times - Hell bent upon teaching bitter lessons. But hey, what to do if I refuse to learn from my mistakes... well instinctiveness can also be a bitch sometimes !! Nonsense can also be a bitch sometimes - making me feel as if I am the only one making a mistake in the process of trying to make things work out. As if the others are perfection and matuarity personified. And then sometime I myself am a bitch - i write posts like this !! Lol ! Everythings a bitch sometimes - Ha ! Ha ! Ha !

NEWS

NEWS - is North East West South. I don't find any of that on TV. Whatever happened to good old information !!!! And the sight of Barkha Dutt makes me puke. Once upon a time she was my 'dream date' ! Lol ! The Headley 'investigation' sounded like some soap from primetime tv - what with all the sound effects and background razzmatazz ... whew! I just dont feel like watching news on tv.

Grrrr !!! :-{

All my life I thought am a Sagittarius, but now am finding many astrology columns listing out my birth date under the capricorn section !! what the hell is this?
how can the dates change ....? I was born a sagittarius as till a few months ago sagittarius was till 22nd december. And today I find two columns in different publications saying sagittarius is till 20th december.... buggers knocked off two days and in the bargain made me into a completely different personality !!

buggers !!! :-(

Say it Possible & still not possible

I can't believe I missed Terra Naomi's visit to Bangalore. God, I read about it and then made plans and then completely forgot about it. Screw you Anup !!!!!

Oh one more of my much awaited events has passed by without me making it there.
To those who do not know about her, just do a google search or go to youtube and listen to "Say it possible" . And if you like her music, then please come back and thank me ( i love some sense of self-importance ). Read about how she made her music famous ! Watch out for more of her in the years to come !! Thats my word for it !

Hey btw, did any of you check out Ronan Keating's version of Time after Time? Lovely he sings. Naomi also has done a video cover of the same song.... again her vocal abilites stand up. But Ronan you rock too man !! Check out his new album "Songs for my mother". :-)

Nice - The best biscuit in the world

Did I tell you all that 'Nice Time' from Britannia is my favourite biscuit in the world? Now, how do you care for that piece of news? Well, you should if you know that I can even kill anyone, be mean, lose my cool and sulk like hell if I am deprived of this piece of heaven that Vinita Bali's company makes ! It used to be called 'Nice' till a couple of years ago before Britannia renamed it as Nice Time. So my mom knows this as Nice and buy this always whenever she shops for her tea-time snacks.

Wow, irresistable and mouth watering...no other food in this world ever tastes better in my mouth than this biscuit. Lovely ! Ummmm.... dream date would be a cup of tea and Nice Time bisucits :-) and oh ya a girl too if unavoidable ! ;-P but she wont get more than one biscuit.

I have to dedicate this post to the only food in the world that makes me ecstatic. Bravo ! Ever tried dal, rice, veggies, chicken fry and Britannia Nice time biscuits? Well, even I have not. but its lying there in front of me and i will try it out. I love you Nice :-)

I believe in Angels

In continuation to the last post, I had this song on my lips whenever I was thinking about what I wrote in the last post. While on my way back from work, I started humming this song, which I had heard first on the 'Coast to Coast' album of Westlife in 1999. Its ABBA's 1979 song 'I Have a Dream'. Love the sitar riff and the lyrics.
In my downcast mood as described in the last post, I kept on humming this song and surprisingly felt better. Still do. I believe in each word of the song. Strange how some songs you never forget and come back to you at key moments of your life.

I have a dream,
a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder,
of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels,
Something good in everything I see,
I believe in angels,
When I know the time is right for me,
I'll cross the stream,
I have a dream

I have a dream,
a fantasy,
To help me through reality,
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness
still another mile
I believe in angels,
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels,
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - I have a dream


I have a dream,
a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder,
of a fairy tale
You can take the future,
even if you fail
I believe in angels,
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels.
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream

:-)

Biggest success of my professional career was today. And somehow it feels so so so not worth it when I realise that I don't really have anyone to share this with other than my mother. Called her up immediately and obviously she was happy. But sometimes its just not enough. You want that someone to be there with whom you can gush about it, describe it, tell about the ups & downs while working towards your mission, etc etc. Felt like calling up a potential 'good friend' but then refrained knowing that that person is least intersted. Felt like calling up my best friend, but then he would be busy and we don't normally gush and swoon over things like this. We are too 'chilled out' for that kind of a talk.

It would have been nice if I could come back home, take a shower and go out for a quiet drink with someone, take a walk, sit on a bench in some park, watch the clouds and the moon and just feel immensely satisfied at a job well done after one year of effort. Instead what did I do? - sit up till late in office, eat some &*$%#@& meals, come home and sleep. Then I took too much of pity on myself and texted someone in the hope that I could get an ear. But nopes, all are either too busy or do not really care about me. So again I took too much of pity on myself and started this rant over my blog. Lovely na ! Anyways only time it hurts is when I think of the innumerable times that I have lent an ear to their rants, their joys and sorrows, sometimes at the cost of my own work and convenience. This someone has called me and got all hour long lessons on various things in the middle of the night or middle of my work and I have never refused - realising that how much its important for me to listen and be there. Well, am also human and I also sometimes make the mistake of expecting something or the other from people around me. Like how I expected my big bosses to react when I showed them the big deal that I cracked. Expected them to praise me ( ya, no shame in accepting that I long for praise). But they just nooded their heads and got on with their work. Does it hurt? No, but it's dissappointing. But it hurts when someone for whom you have always been there, does not react the way you want them to. No, in fact even if they dont react the way you want them to, its still ok. But its when you make it so conspicious to them that you need someone to talk to, and yet they ignore you, thats when it hurts.

Thank god for mothers. If she had not called me up in the evening and spoken about it, I would have felt very bad. She at least knows that all I need is two minutes of human voice or human touch to boost my spirits. Hmmmm... so thats it... frustruating realising that probably this is why people get married. They will have someone to come back to, some bosom to rest their heads on in joy or in sorrow, some soothing words or touches to make you feel cared for. Beiing together matters. A lot. Distance doesnt make the hearts grow fonder. It just erodes the important role that eyes play.

Chalo its getting to be a long post without any intent. So I will stop now.
Celebrate all you lucky ones....but don't derive sadistic pleasure. God doesn't like sadists :-) Lol !

Both begin with a C

What is Chauvinism? Most of us fear being called a chauvinist? When we are wooing the girl, the last thing that we want our girfriends to feel is that we are chauvinists and then later when they are in a relationship with us, we change our outlook to observe,"chuvinist, no no, you are exxagerating 'coz you are a feminist".
The girl then says, "No, am not a feminist". But then the guy becomes a chauvinist and the girl a feminist. Unfortunately, both terms are not appropriate.
I dont know much, but most women look for men who can shed their chauvinistic tendencies when they are with them. The other day Shobhana Madam was saying that "Deepak (her husband) is the only man who is not a chauvinist" Aaaahh, that hurt me. Why, even am not a chauvinist. But then I was asking the wrong person. I am not the right person to answer that. So for this survey, we need a sample (statistically speaking) So, I should ask all the women in my life. But then again mom never sees any wrong in her son, sister never thinks of her loving brother as anything but the sweetest human being, ex-gfs will have a dagger in their hand and hence again are a bad sample for this market research, friends will never comment anything lest they annoy or unnecessarily praise their unpredictable friend.
So there you go, nobody else left ! anyways leave that

Now what is chivalry? Is that not a trait that we love to be praised on? Now, opening the door - is that chivalry? Being there for your girl, no matter what the situation/problem - is that chivalry? wiping your mother's tears while ignoring your gf's - is that chivalry?
Now, our quest for chivalry never ends. But my questions also never end. When will I qualify to be called chivalrous?

and when will this stupid post end... now. Its ends now !

GOD's brother

What a brother Ajit Tendulkar must be ... a gem !!! how touching is the fact that he used to hide behind the trees of Shivaji Park and watch while Sachin practiced with Achrekar sir. Then he would point out the mistakes and analyse Sachin's game with him. Wow, Ajit didn't think of anything other than his brother.... and Sachin was not even Ajit's mother's son !!!
What kind of blind faith he would have had in his brother's abilities and his own abilities to do something for this prodigy ! The atmosphere around Sachin was such electric and conducive for greatness !!! No wonder India and people like us are indebted to such a wonderful set of people who shaped Sachin's career.

GOD II

Wow, every pulication, every site, every anything and every nothing is filled with just one name - Sachin Tendulkar. Been reading and reading since morning and it just doesn't end. What a delight for people like us.

I don't think I have told this before - there are two events for which I shall leave every other work - even if its my wedding (if ever I become a fool), my sales presentation, or anything related to me - and those events are:

1) Sachin Tendulkar's last test match in India ( if he announces in advance )
2) Coldplay's concert in India :-)

Had this chance to watch him twice, live in motion:
1) At the opening ceremony of IPL 1. He was taking oath as captain of Mumbai Indians.
2) At the test match versus Australia in Bangalore. He came near where I was sitting before the match began for his practice session. I had goosebumps and tears in my eyes. Can't ever forget that moment. He scored only 16 in that match, i think. (who remembers numbers, anyways)

whew !! Just cant get enough of him yaar.... Hyderabad was such a tragedy. But anyways cheers to Sachin Tendulkar ( already two posts on him - i must be going bonkers !! ) Dont't be happy readers, more will follow, sooner than later. Mmmuuuuaaahhh !!! :-)

GOD

Sachin Tendulkar

Every morning I am shedding tears. Why? Times of India is carrying two pages... TWO WHOLE PAGES.... of articles about Sachin. And today was the best. It was an interview with Anjali Tendulkar (his wife). Touching !!! I have this queer habit of crying at just the thought of Sachin Tendulkar. That has been the impact of this man on my life. Right from that fateful day in Baroda in 1988-89 when he came to play a 'double wicket' tournament ( he was not yet in the Indian team ). I like a kid sat near the 'pooja room' and prayed to God while listening to the commentary on the radio.... right from that day, HE has been an immutable part of my life.

Anyways, right now am too excited to write a proper post... just read the interview and wanted to pay homage to HIS family for the sacrifices they have made for Sachin. Imagine a selfless guy like HIM, having only one selfish desire. To play for the country and contribute. For this, HIS brother, mother, wife and kids have had to do a lot of things that HE has to be indebted to them for. I hope god blesses him to take care of his family and his post-retirement life in the same impeccable and honourable manner.

Enough, got to get ready for my office... can't sit like a this and keep sobbing and writing about the legend. Lol ! What a girl I am becoming !!! :-) ( women's lib, did i hear anyone say?)

The Diwali Party - 11th Oct 2009, Ettimadai Village

A teacher before she/he goes into the class knows how to behave with the students. A kindergarten teacher will talk in slow and lyrical manner so as to connect to her twinkle-eyed, innocent audience. A primary teacher will know that she has to speak in a manner that is genuine but at times childish. A secondary teacher will know that her students probably know certain things that she does not and will speak with certain amount of tact and gravity. All this comes out of the way in which the students react as per their age. Now put all of these different kinds of students into one single room or under the same tree and what you elicit out of the teacher is a range of emotions sliding over the EQ scale from 1 to 10 at rapid pace.

Each one of the volunteers of the ‘Outreach’ program has to display exemplary range of emotions and skill to tackle, tame, cajole, coax and pacify the kids of the Ettimadai village. There are kids who are 2 years old to those who are 17 years old in the motley crowd that gathers under the village tree each Saturday/Sunday for interacting with the students of Amrita. Every weekend its about a few lessons, a few poems, a few giggles, a few nudges and pokes, a few mischiefs, a few fights and so on. But Diwali is the time when it is all of these without THE BOOKS. Diwali celebration for Outreach is like the one big occasion when all the kids get to spend a full day singing, dancing, playing, shouting and basically having fun with the students and ex-students of Amrita.

The Diwali Party as we all call it is after all dedicated to the child in all of us. We all rise up to the levels of these children and try and enjoy each and every moment of the day with them. They are the protagonists of the elaborate script that is carefully crafted each year by Shobana madam and her loyal bunch of students/friends. The stage was set this time around with lots of gift being bought for the kids to be given as prizes for various events. Most of the Amritians came in with something or the other for the kids, like Pencil boxes, soaps, story books, pencils & stationary, etc . The faculty quarters of DG & Shobana madam turned out to be a common meeting point where all these tired souls gathered at the end of a hard day’s shopping in the hot streets of Coimbatore. The coffee at the dgshobs’ residence did wonders in energizing many a tired limbs. The uncertain excitement of the next day was keeping everyone on the tenterhooks anyways.

Some kids gleefully accepted a free ride in Bala sir’s car on their way to Amrita Vidyalayam – the venue. The presence of Vidyashankar meant that we need not have to worry about keeping the children entertained. I do not know if the kids understand what devotion/spirituality/religion is, but what I do know is that the kids observe the lighting of the lamp, the prayer, the somber poses of the adults around and consciously contract their movements themselves. It’s always a fascinating experience watching the children place their hands over their folded legs and prop up their heads, watching with open mouths, the performance of a singer who can hits the right notes with the young audience. As long as Vidhya holds stage, it’s a relaxing time for all of the rest. But as soon as the volunteers know that he is about to finish, a sense of panic overcomes and all of them start fidgeting to find out what next to keep the little ones occupied. If there is a slightest lapse in the entertainment, suddenly you will find dozens of children wanting to answer nature’s call at the same time or dipping their hands into the water-jug. It’s a crisis we all could do well without and that’s when there’s a Tarzanesque shout from the back of the audience and you find the lean frame of Udhyakumar making way towards the midst of the children, shouting out instructions to keep the children in their seats and telling them of what to do and what not to do. The ever-jovial Venkatesh then goes to the stage and in his inimitable style of speaking Tamil, soon takes over as the MC of the occasion and although I don’t understand much of Tamil, I still know that he connects to the audience. And boy, he and Vidhya then start eliciting responses from the kids.

Soon there is a conversation happening between the whole bunch and the volunteers, and this inspires others on the fringes to also shed their inhibitions as was evident when Banerjee sir, brought himself to the front and rendered a Bengali children’s song, replete with funny words and actions. The presence of Satwa, the group of young men from Chennai who had come down to the village with an alumni of ASB, Sandeep, made a lot of difference to this year’s Diwali party. They soon took over the proceedings and divided the children as per their various age groups and organized small games for them. Soon you had the huge hall filled with laughter and mirth with small groups of children spread across the hall playing various games. Some of the games were super fun to watch, like the one where a balloon is tied to the legs of the kids and whoever manages to keep her/his balloon from being burst by the rest is the winner. We all had a riot watching them go after each other with infectious energy.

Each of us has our own favourites among the kids. Some kids remember you and come over to you and ask you “How are you Anna? Why are not coming these day? You in Bombay?”. One of the girls came up to me and asked, “Anna, you remember me?”. I did remember her from last year, but I had forgotten her name. “I do”, I said, “Savitri, right?” “Nooooo Annnaaaa,” she said with her hand on her head, “it’s Savitha, not Saaaavitra”. I could not help but burst out laughing. This got her and her friends laughing and making fun of how forgetful I was. These kids make fun of us in such innocent ways. Then there are kids whom you think of as reticent and serious types. They will not look at you or return your gaze. They will not smile at you or connect to you in any sense. You start thinking of them as not so friendly types. But then suddenly they see some other volunteer and jump out of their seats and the next thing you know, they are climbing on top of that person, laughing and shouting and blabbering with the volunteer. Amazing! you stand there dumbstruck.

All around we could see hugs and kisses, especially the girls in the volunteer crowd were so motherly in their affection that they were showering their love on the little boys and girls. We guys, the usual reticent lot in such emotions, kept ourselves to doing the hard labour part of going to the ground, clearing the field, drawing the lines for sports and arranging the vessels etc. Each of us has a way of behaving when with kids. I remember the last year when there was no electricity for the whole day at the Diwali party and all the kids were sweating it out and poor Vidhyashankar had to sing almost 50 songs just to keep the entertainment going. There was this 2 year old child who found her way into my lap and then spent the whole afternoon there. When you feel a child’s heart beat next to your own and when her tiny fingers hold on to the back of your neck like her life depended on that ‘hold’, even if you feel tired, hungry, thirsty and claustrophobic, you still do not want to move a muscle for the fear of waking up the little one catching up on some well-deserved sleep after the daylong exertions. This time around there was less of physical exertion than last year and also the overheads fans helped. I was searching for the same child in the crowd, hoping that she might want to come over and sleep on me again. But alas, she has grown big. So she and her friends didn’t need to rest themselves on our laps or shoulders.

The lunch was efficiently taken care of under the expert guidance of Jhansi madam. These kids are such fast eaters, my god! By the time you just stretch you back after finishing one round of serving, they are already clamoring for more biryani or more sambar or more rice. They attack the food with such infectious enthusiasm that you feel more hungry seeing them enjoy the food, while you got to wait for all of them to finish.  The delightful part is when these kids come and talk to you when you are eating, “Anna why are you eating so less?”, “Akka why are not eating that piece of tomato?”, “Anna why are you eating so many papads?”, “Akka why are you not folding your legs properly?”. It’s hard not to notice how much these kids have absorbed from their interactions with the outreach crowd. They are more conscious of what is cleanliness, hygiene, health etc. I remember three years back, they used to be shabbily dressed and not very aware of hygiene. But now we all can see a great deal of improvement in the way they conduct and carry themselves. This is what motivates the outreach crowd to put more efforts into the cause with great deal of enthusiasm.

The fun and the games continued inside for the little kids, and the sports were for the bigger boys and girls. There was the usual figure of Anand and Inba, conducting the outdoor sports with efficient charm. Not surprisingly the girls showed more enthusiasm and competitive spirit in even this, putting some of the boys to shame, I must admit.

At last the most awaited part of the day, the prize distribution ceremony began. It took a huge amount of effort on the part of all the volunteers to sort out the goodies and make sure that the kids got everything. The prizes were distributed by Sandeep first up and he did it with panache, shaking hands and whispering a word of encouragement to each one who came up. Shobana madam, Jhansi madam, Venkatesh, Udhay were constantly controlling the crowd with amazing skill. Soon each and every child was holding on to a bag full of goodies and the icing on the cake was the fire-crackers that Shakti always brings to the party. The village would have reverberated that night with the sound and the light of the crackers that were distributed to the children.


Diwali party is also a chance to come back to college, catch up with your batch mates, juniors and seniors as well. This time around there was Sandeep from 2005 batch, Anirudh from 2006, Vidhya, Shiva, Saurabh and myself from 2007 batch, Shakti, Venky, Navneet, Amardeep, Mihir, Davison from 2008 batch, Udhay and his friends from 2009 batch and Jitu & his friends from the current batch. Apart from this the usual pioneers like Inba, Anand, Sreeja, Radhika and the rest of the gang from various departments of Amrita were there too. It’s always one big party with all us together. Not to mention the final ‘chai’ session in the canteen for the whole gang. I and DG always look forward to this more than anything else.

When things are wrapped up, what one is left with is the feeling of ‘niceness’. Everyone feels nice after the day is over. When the kids’ faces light up with joy, when they climb on top of you, when one allows them to compete and show their skill, when one gives them an occasion to discover facets of their personality unknown to them, when one takes them out of their usual routine and see a different world – that’s when you find yourself feeling something different and nice. A feeling that I am yet to put a name to. Ask any of the volunteers what makes them come back again and again to celebrate Diwali with the kids and they might not be able to tell you exactly – why. Some things are better left unsaid and unexplored. And maybe this is one of them.

Watch 'em

The Day after Diwali, our mail stood at our door in the morning and started crying. She said that her boy had lost his arm while bursting firecrackers the previous day. He had lost his arm and there was nothing that the Doctors could do about it. I was shocked on seeing her at my door instead of being in the hospital and then some sense prevailed and we managed to give her some money and then she left.

Thereafter I and saurabh were just discussing on how a freak accident cost the boy his arm and a fair shot at life. He blamed the parents for having not taken care of the boy. But I didn't agree with him. These kids are brought up in a different environment from people like us. We all had privileged upbringing with parents spending enough time with us, and taking care of us. But that is not the case with these families. There is constant pressure on them. The mother is either working in some house as a maid full day or comes back home to cook more food and complete the household chores. She rarely gets any time when she is not busy. Same is the case with the men. Most of them are working most of the times and are outside the house.

In such an environment, its really difficult to keep a constant tab on your children. They usually roam about the streets, loiter around with friends and in general waste their time. the parents do not have the education to know that their kids needs to be taught something more than what they might be learning in the government school. They would be too hard pressed making two ends meet, to pay attention to supposedly ‘minor’ details like ‘child upbringing’. So how would they be able to take care of the boy when he is bursting some fire cracker in some corner of the street?
At the same time, how a child turns out to be in her/his behavior pattern, has a lot to do with what the child experiences every day at home. That’s true, I agree. Children copy and model their behavior on how the adults surrounding them behave. But still, I somehow find it hard to blame the parents for their kids going wrong.

What would I have done if I were faced with poverty, meager income, work pressures and bickering family members? I would also busy myself doing things to keep my family alive, rather than see what my kid is watching or doing in the streets. No, it just doesn’t sink in… I cannot blame the maid and call her as careless. She had more things to worry about at that point of time. She didn’t know that her kid would end up like this while playing… …. Am still confused…

Creed - Full Circle

I am just waiting for Creed's reunion and their first release called "Full Circle"

I love their work especially 'With arms wide open' and 'One last breath'. Such acts must continue with their good work... and so am excited... wow.... with arms wide open !!!

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life

Woke up !

Woke up to Friday morning with the first show of Wake UP Sid in Bangalore. Good movie and even better are the songs. Am Buying the CD although the songs are already downloaded (pirated). Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy are true to their style of not having any style. They can make just about any music, any sound they feel that goes with the movie's soul. Lovely... listening to it as am typing this.

Go catch the movie if you want a nice feel good movie. My friday was made after this movie... especially the songs... well placed and well paced...."Life is crazy" !!

When love took a train heading south !!!

So near that she could smell him, maybe even touch him. But all that she longed for was maybe a kind look or a small word. But he wouldn’t. Not his fault, she knew but how could she not feel let down.

A bright pink saree covering every inch of her slim body. Even her hair parting was adorned with the bright pink dash of ‘sindoor’ that Indian women apply on their foreheads. A typical woman from the hindi heartlands of central/northern India. She walked up the footpath and came up to him. Her gait gingery but confident, brought her to him, so close and yet he didn’t twitch. A man can never keep himself from feeling the presence of a woman near him. She is destined to make him acutely aware of her presence, so much that even the most docile of women can assume an imposing presence. This moment lasts for only a few seconds, before everything’s back to normal. But here, he did not even twitch. She was so close to him and by no means was she unattractive. A chiseled face, spotlessly clean skin, tall and poised she stood there in the narrow gap of the footpath, almost smelling the back of his neck with the pallu of her saree pulled across half of her face. And no sign of acknowledgement from him. He continued pulling out the puris, scooping the masala, filling each puri with the masala and dipping the puris in the tamarind water – serving the best pani-puris of Bangalore.

A man in pursuit of excellence in the humble task of making pani-puris for a living – a repetitive, highly energy sapping exercise that calls for high levels of concentration especially when you have multiple customers and counts to keep on the puris that you have served out. The customers can be quite irritating and irrational – some want it sweet, some spicy, some salty, some dry, some slow, some fast, some with onions, some without, - all at the same time. He took pains not only to make it the tastiest chat in the city, but also to set an example in customer service by being polite and humble with his customers. Every new customer was immediately acknowledged and given a sample to taste, mindlful of the fact that each character in his customer list has a different taste, a unique craving. He was respectful to elders & women ( who come in plenty ), polite & loving to children. Everyone went off feeling like a king or a queen from his stall, except she.

There was something in her hand, a vessel. She stood there for whole of 5 minutes with that vessel, waiting for him. She stands there and catches my eye. She turns away and looks at the road. Then she looks back at him and sees his busy back turned towards her and lets out a sigh – the sigh accentuated by the heaviness of the pink colour. Her body does not move but her eyes are a riot of emotions ranging from longing, impatience, love, desire, loneliness, irritation and humiliation. She is desperately waiting for him to acknowledge her presence, have a kind word, maybe even a slight touch of his hand while handing over the vessel. Was that asking for too much? He meanwhile, I feel knows that she is there but is reluctant to let go of his emotions. Only a highly emotional man can hold back his emotions. And I could feel him holding back. He was not looking up, constantly shifting his gaze from the puri to the masala, to the water and to the customer’s plate. He looked into the eyes of the customer, but would not even glance at her while she stood there waiting for that one ‘moment’.

At last he finishes up with me and suddenly there is a slight turn of his body and he whips his hands and pulls out the vessel from her hands, keeps it in his stall and continues preparing for another customer who has by that time barked out his demands. She stands there stunned at losing her only chance of maybe a look or a touch. She looks at me, maybe aware that I am drilling through her mind to know how she feels and suddenly her look hardens. She hides her emotional upheaval and suddenly her face assumes a shield like demeanor that is supposed to tell the world that nothing was amiss there. But little did she know that I had been witness to a critical moment of her life that gave me an insight into a space highly personal.

She stood there for some more seconds, hoping to atleast hear him bark out some orders to her…. In this insufficient state, even a harsh command would have sufficed to calm her jittery nerves that were acting up in a way only a newly wed’s can … maybe due to unfulfilled desires? I am not quite sure. But she made her way slowly back from where he was and started walking away, this time less confident and but more determined. Her determination to hold herself, took her to a distance of about 8 feet, before she stopped again. I was intently watching at this hindi-movie like situation. She turned back with the saree pallu in between her gleaming white teeth. Her kohl-lined eyes turning into one direction for the last time before she made her way out. And again she was met with the same lean, busy back of her husband. Her glance fell on me again and I stood frozen there, fearing if I had unwittingly intruded into her space but this time she did not try to hide her pain. Her face and eyes, her high cheek bone, her lips – all a clear reflection of her anguish at being not recognized as a presence in her husband’s life. She slowly turned and I realized that I was looking at her, shaking my head, with a sad smile , maybe giving her a comfort that “its allright bhabhiji, he is just busy in his work”!

It’s an everyday event in the lives of all the migrant workers across the country. They come to cities, sometimes with their families and live in inhuman conditions where there is little time for two people to spend time with each other to even start any love. The walls of the city close in too soon, the air suffocates them too soon, the ceiling comes down too soon, the friends and family are back too soon, the work starts too soon and nevers seems to end that soon, the child is born too soon and the money starts running out too soon, the body starts ageing too soon and the life seems to pass away too soon…. Everything happens just a bit ‘too soon’

Blissfully Mad !!!

Woooowwwww !!!!! :-)

Hold my own

Sometimes I feel that it is due to the respect that I have for people older than me, that keeps me from countering their points, statements and arguments. And this acts as a detrimental factor in me losing my credibility. I have this innate habit of showing respect to people.... I keep thinking of them as elders and hence I should not speak offensively or even aggressivel or even assertively to them. This is dis-respect to them, I feel. And sometimes they roll over me and fry me and I stand there - a meek spectator. This frustruating aspect of my irritating personality has permeated into my ability to deal with peers or even younger people now. I have lost my ability to hold my own... even with myself.

Gaal pe teepna, bewajah tab

I don't need to wax eloquent about the wonderfully crafted soundtracks of the movie 'Kaminey'. Just notice the lyrics... wow !! The way Sunidhi Chauhan and Rekha Bharadwaj's voices keeping popping in without even a hint of difference.... never knew it was not one singer. And the great panache with which Vishal Bharadwaj has sung the title track. Gulzar knows that Vishal Bharadwaj will treat each word with the importance that it deserves in the smaller scheme of things. Yaaa.... words have a macro as well as micro meaning. A good poet will try and reveal these two meanings to the listener.

But overall this collection is worth a standing ovation for Gulzar and Vishal's ability to bring forth newer dimensions of mainstream music. I couldn't have missed one of my favourite singers Suresh Wadkar, leaving his touch on this colletion. Suresh has been underutilized by the industry and Vishal knows what magic singers like him, sukhvinder singh and kailesh kher bring to the soul of the song.

Love this collection.... loved 'Machis' for shaping my appreciation for poetic music and love 'Kaminey' for revealing a genre of music that is surprisingly mainstream. Ya, how did this soundtrack manage to be mainstream... is still a huge surprise for me. Lol !!

Matchbox Rains

At 2 am, there is precious little anyone can do apart from the obvious. Some lucky ones keep it going till that long...boy I envy them. But then in the event of such pleasures escaping my life totally, there is only one thing I am supposed to do that late in the night. But then I was not.

I was twelve when I realised that the only thing good about the rains is that you can sit on the window sil of our old house and watch the rain with a cup of tea and some hot 'pakodas'. Rains have always been bad for me because it falls when I have to go out to play. "Rain Rain Go away, Little Johnny wants to play" I would wail ! My nursery teacher never meant her students to sing it that way. Anyway.

So, the red of the night shone sombre and I fought off my fear to look through. I found a spec of the light particle shining, not through, but up and over. The sky's stretch marks were quite unlike humans'.... duh ! The light spread and it seemed the drops were going to form a swing.... a swing on which swayed the little child clouds... laughing and frolicking around the mother clouds.

I rubbed my eyes again in disbelief. How can this be beautiful and so soothing? How can watching the pitter-patter of the rains from inside the confines of the house be so enthralling and that too at night. Isn't night supposed to be dark? Has God missed a trick here or has she/he slept off in the night, just as our watchman Mr. Gorkha. The matchbox like appartments in the city forbid any thoughts that you might harbour of an expansive view of anything for that matter. One balcony opens smack into the bedroom window of the opposite building. Now dimwits like me are so scared of being a vouyers, that we refrain from even looking outside our balconies, lest I accidently catch a couple opposite my building in that act. Oh ya, I still am living in my teen fantasy of every boy, that the only thing that a couple does when they go inside a bedroom is..well, ummm...eeerrr.. you know ( see, i can't even type the damn word )

But at this time of the night or rather morning, I am unafraid. I look out and fall in love with the idea of watching rains from my window sil again after so many years. Well, after so many years of walking in the rains, there is nothing much left to do other than finding a shelter and watching it pour. It feels great that at least the sky cries in a refreshing manner. ....

Clarity

one trait that any professional must have is - Clarity. This is one trait that I feel any recruiter must look out for in the prospective candidate.
My big boss Mr. Vijay Dogra, shines through everthing else, due to this wonderful virtue of his. The clarity of thought is amazing...

Over the period of my experiences in my work-life, I have found that the people who have impressed me and have gained my respect are having this one trait in common.

The way one speaks and conducts is a reflection of the clarity of thought of that person. I have always tried to be clear myself but amazingly it varies a lot... what I mean to say is... in some situations, like when I am dealing with my team members, when they come to me for guidance, I am very clear. But at the same time, when I am working with a senior colleague, I tend to be confused. Its so strange and frustruating. Inconsistency in clarity is again an issue, since you confuse the people around you. One day you impress your colleagues with your wisdom and clarity and the next day you goof up and make them re-think on why they thought of you as a good professional in the first place.

Anyways, take this exercise... pick the people that you admire and see if they have this one trait with them. More than knowledge, humility, skill, oratory, attitude, charisma.... more than any of these... its the clarity of thought that makes them stand apart and take the right decisions. Or rather, ask the right questions.

Why Democracy is more acceptable, although flawed?

"Communism/Socialism, in it's ideal state, is better than Democracy/Liberalism in it's ideal state.
But Democracy/Liberalism in it's flawed state is far far better than Communism/Socialism in it's flawed state."

And 'ideal' is not an attribute associated with Man. Hence Democracy is more acceptable to the world. I guess !!!

Then....

......and when this is all over, then.....

If you have a moment

Thats the name, that I will give to my own place.... I don't know what it will be. As of now, I am 'wearing the sunscreen' like how Mary Schmich describes.

but think of it this way... how would you feel if you came across a place to eat that called itself - 'If you have a moment...'

or an NGO called 'If you have a moment...'

or anything man... just aaa-nnn-yyy thing , if called that way, ... how would it feel....uummmm.... I dunno... but I somehow came up that name yesterday while travelling on this train.... somehow.... it stayed.

How does it feel for you..... if you have a moment, then please do think over it ;-) and let me know ....

Micheal Jackson !!!

My one Wish !

How I wish I could explain my actions!!!!
If God was to give me three wishes, I would choose to be given a chance to explain to them, why I did what I did.

Hell, its suffocating not to have this freedom. For a person who believes in communicating no matter what and for a person who can express and communicate well, I have been deprived of opportunities to explain my actions at the most critical junctures of my life.

Its such a hypocritical feeling.... preaching to the whole world to communicate, but unable to do so myself.

Even now, I have stories to narrate, unknown incidents to reveal, logics to be explained, situations to be recollected..... and yet HE/SHE up above the world so high, wants me not to be nigh.

So to keep me alive, kicking and tripping - HE has ordained upon me, this decree !

Poets of the Fall

I wake up to the sound of rain upon my sill
Pick up the pieces of my yesterday old thrill
Can I deliver this used up shiver
To how I pronounce my life
And leave it up to faith to go by its own will

Back row to the left
A little to the side
Slightly out of place
Look beyond the light
Where you'd least expect
There's someone special

A foggy morning greets me quietly today
I smell a fragrance in the wind blowing my way
And ever further I run to find her
I yearn to define my life
Placing my faith in chance to meet me in half way

Back row to the left
A little to the side
Slightly out of place
Look beyond the light
Where you'd least expect
There's someone special

And she's here to write her name
On my skin with kisses in the rain
Hold my head and ease my pain
In a world that's gone insane...

...and it was called 'Yellow'

* A lake, a river, a stream, a rivulet, a puddle - all of these have an edge, the edge of the water. The edge where the water shallows out and gently laps up to the land. I absolutely love to see the water's edge ending up in blades of grass. You know when there is grass cover on the edge of the lake, stream, puddle - and the water slowly tapers laterlly to meet that blade of grass. It is such a pleasing sight to the eyes. Especially when Sun rays make the water's edge glint. Brilliant.
whenever going in a train, please look out and you will find plenty of such 'water's edges'. I believe this sight is even better than the view of the mountains over the same lake, or the waves of the lake. I always intently watch these peripheral beauties than the actual water. Lovely. Try looking out for it.

* Saw this family caught at the railway station without a ticket. And obviously they cannot pay the steep fine. So what do they do. I dont know. I was utterly helpless. The fellow tried to save himself 200 bucks by not getting the train tickets and now has to end up paying nearly 1000 bucks as fine. 1000 rupees is huge for him. That was half a month's salary for him. The old woman, his mother, two kids and his wife - all looking like lost souls. And the ticket checker shouting obscenities at him and abusing the old woman for pleading with him. I dont know what to do. Am confused

Some get made, and some get sent !

May 11, 2009
I came, I saw and I conquered !
A bit immodest, but what the heck !! Am really in an upbeat mood today. The team that I was in and captained, has won a tournament. As I said earlier, I have been playing some football with the guys at the stadium. The coach announced that a tournament would be held among the club’s players with all the 80 players divided into 4 teams. One of the teams called the Dodgers Lions, was handed over to me and I was supposed to captain the side. It could not have started from a worse note, with one of the senior players unhappy with him being in my team, away from his friends. He refused to do anything and just sat there sulking. This started the other players complaining of how weak a team the Lions were and how we should be getting some more better players. I knew I had a huge task on my hands.

Here was I just 4 days old into the stadium scheme of things and the guys didn’t even know who I was and where had I suddenly appeared from. The only people who recognized me on the field were my old coach and a couple of mommies of the kids who were also in the academy the year before. So it was up to me to create a healthy team-spirit and with my bitter experiences at witnessing dictatorial styles of leadership, I decided to be a cheerful and happy go-lucky but an intelligent leader. There was no way I could get away with vetoing the guys’ ideas or giving them lengthy advices. It would just have made the team members treat me like the Kolkata Knight Riders treating John Buchanan !

So there was I listening to each one of them and saying that what they are saying is right. But what I could do, to my relief, was to make them listen to me as well. I told them to play strategically and in an organized. An ordinary team can be successful only when each member realizes her/his role in the scheme of things and is willing to essay it. I gave them the option of choosing whatever positions they wanted to play, because I did not have the respect of the players to even command them to do something that they were not comfortable with . This democratic policy did give me some strategic headaches with certain weaknesses creeping in to the shape of the team, but then I had no choice but to proceed.

Thankfully the team covered up the weaknesses with an inspired display in the first game to win it emphatically 4-0. I was glad that I had marshaled the mid-field play well and with my passing skills, helped in keeping the opposition away from the ball. I thought I had done pretty well. We were having a team meeting after the game and discussing about what happened. That’s when one of the junior boys got up and loudly announced that I was not playing well and that I was proving to be a slow-coach in the middle !!!! I was shocked !!! Me – a slow-coach ???????? You must be kidding. I am supposed to be one of the fastest guys on the circuit. Kid, I can run 100 meters in 10.9 seconds flat !! The selector of Gujarat once had congratulated me on my agility and speed on the field. I can’t be slow !!!!

Suddenly there was silence in our bunch. I realised that probably he was right since it was long time ago that I could stake a claim to be fast and now with lack of practice I was slower than what my alter-ego thought. I could see that some of the seniors in the team were intently watching me. I honestly could not make out if they agreed with the boy or not, but nevertheless I took a huge step in probably saving our team from further blame game, by just smiling at the boy and just offered him a “ok”. This thankfully had the desired effect and there was no further blame game. But inside of me, there was this lurking suspicion about what would happen if we lost a match in the future. Anyway, I offered my team bananas, glucose, cold-drinks and snacks. No wonder, they slowly started calling me a ‘wannabe Shane Warne’. I was considerably older than my team-mates and was not regular on the football circuit of the city. I had come in from Bangalore and was playing with this team for a couple of weeks for the love of the game. They found it amusing and did not lose any opportunity to pull my leg.

The weakness that I had mentioned earlier, cost us in the second game with us conceding a goal in the first half of the game. We went into the break a goal down and the mood in the team was somber. I refrained from making any speeches.Teams are so used to half-time speeches, that if someone does not make it, they think that he is not interested. Slowly a bit of bickering started with the usual suspects calling for changes in the formation and the style. They were suggesting some changes that did not make much sense to me, since I was convinced that we are better off playing the way we were. I didn’t want to make the same mistake that I made in my college days- both at UG level playing for my college team and at PG level tournament – both instances I changed the strategy half-way and had to pay the price for it. This time I just walked off with my banana announcing that there would be no changes, no substitutions and no strategy changes till we pump in two more goals. I just said that and went back to the field to practice with the ball. This probably had a tremendous effect on the players ( which I came to know much later) One of the parents who was a spectator commented, “Look at your captain, he is so cool and composed. He knows there is nothing to worry about. Then why are you boys so jittery. Go out there and play with him.” Only I knew that I was far from composed. I blurted out those words, but now I knew there was going to egg on my face if something positive did not happen in the second half.

We resumed the game after the break and probably due to the adrenaline rush, our team got a corner kick on the right side of the goal post. Normally the better, faster players take the initiative to kick the ball in such situations, but this time I ran across 50 meters to snatch the ball and take the corner kick with my weaker left foot. My team mates protested. They said, “take it with the right. Left will not be powerful enough” Let me tell you that none of my team mates could use their left leg to kick the ball since they were all ‘uni-footed’ players. I just stared at them and continued placing the ball at the corner spot to kick it with the left. Pure football logic said that taking the kick with the left and curling the ball into the post, so that somebody could head it in, was the better plan – and I stuck to it. I curled it in with my left leg and sure enough it created such confusion in the opposition defense that one of the players handled the ball in order to clear it from the danger area and this resulted in us getting a penalty kick, which, yes you guessed it right – I took and pumped in our first goal. !!!!

That was all that was needed for my team. They responded to this with tremendous spirit and skill and by the time we finished the game, we had won the game 3-1. The penalty kick was the last time I had to kick the ball hard, since thereafter the ball never crossed our half line to come to me. The boys saw to it that they gave me enough rest at the back and put the game to bed with an inspired performance. Probably this game gave me the most satisfaction since - I had contributed to the team. Nobody spoke to me or praised me – which was fine with me, since I could sense a new found respect in their eyes for me and this is all that I wanted.

I carried this individual euphoria in to our next game thinking of myself as a brilliant and gem of a player. No wonder, I was the worst player on the park for those 90 minutes. I was so pathetic in the game due to my over-confidence that I even conceded a goal due to my silly mistake even though our team was cruising along. The crowd booed but my team mates kept silent and encouraged me. I can never forget the fact that they stood by me when I was doing badly. Again a sign of how good a team we were when it came to playing like a unit. We won the match and progressively the tournament with an all-win record. We were the apple of the eye of all the spectators since we played a style of football that they were not used to seeing in the local tournaments. And what’s more, some of our players got noticed by some key people who run football in the city. I just hope a couple of the boys make it big and remember the time when this old man played a part in them playing the style of football that is different from what is played at the local clubs.

The prize distribution ceremony was held with the parents in attendance and I returned home with a gold medal, four yeas after I had left competitive football. My mother joked about how I still thought of myself as a kid and didn’t want to stop bringing home medals, hoping that mom and dad would give him ice-cream ( ya, I used to get ice-cream whenever I won anything in school or college).
Anyways it was a wonderful experience for me, on a vacation back home. Never thought I would spend my break from work, slogging it out in the 40+ degree heat of Gujarat. Everyday I was on the field from 2:30 pm to 7:30 pm and my mom is already complaining about me losing my complexion. Mothers, I tell you, can create a fuss about the silliest of things. How does complexion matter for a guy, I never have understood. But she goes about complaining to all the aunties and uncles that “my boy was so much fatter and fairer when he came from Bangalore. Now look at him !! He is half the size and looks as if he has not seen food for ten days ! And look at his skin !!! Its ruined !!!” I quip that I am her son, not her daughter !!! God !she is funny !!

Shoot an apple off my head !

For me, the football practice this year, has been intense. Well, the first day I went to play at my club, I saw a zillion kids kicking up some decent dust with their football studs/boots. As usual the mommy brigade was also there with some curvaceous aunties playing doting mommies to their toddler kids who had been brought to the training ground to get their sporting genes activated. I always feel that these parents bring their kids to play football only to check if everything is all right with their kids – “ does my Bablu have his bearings right?" "is my chintu having enough strength in his lungs to run up and down ten times without asking for water?” . What else explains them bringing their off-springs to the football ground – of course its not that they want their child to become the ‘next big thing’ in football!!! Surely its not for the fame and the money – if it were, then they would be sending them to the cricket ground where there are no dearth of training camps. No parent will send her kid to the football ground with an eye on money. Its just to tell her kitty party friends that “oh my son is getting trained at the ‘Dodgers Football Academy’ . you see, playing football is ‘different’.

Anyways, whatever be the reason, I see lot of mommies coming to the stadium and placing themselves on to the concrete stands, where we put our kit-bags and usually sit before the game to discuss and change. Some mothers bring three different bottles along with them – one with water, one with juice and one with glucose. My god, how I hate hand-kerchiefs. I never carry one even to office, forget about carrying one to the football ground , goodness Gracious me !!! I saw this kid with a hand-kerchief pinned to his football jersey. I just rolled my eyes and walked away from the ‘doting mother’. The sweat and the dirt is a part and parcel of the game – sorry the game is not for the vain. It’s a pity that some parents play such a protective role that sometimes it just hampers the child’s perspective of things.

Neverthless, I still do not mind the feminine presence on the field. It adds some spice to the drab and dreary surroundings. I still remember when we used to be in school/college and sometimes we used to have some of our friends’ girl-friends coming along to watch their boy-friends play. It also was a time when the boys could spend some time with their girls without being seen in public, since football ground is not a place where your snoopy parents would come hunting. Anyways, feminine presence always used to create a buzz and no wonder all the individual football skills were promptly put on display. Suddenly the bandanas and the head-bands appeared, the ball would go to the edge of the field more often and there would be wild swipes taken at the ball, to make it reach the stands. Ha ! Ha ! Yours truly was no different as far as the excitement at seeing the beauties was concerned, but I was acutely aware that I should better not get embarrassed conceding a goal with my inept display and make a mockery of myself in front of the fairer audience. The guys would always question me and I would sagely reply “those are someone else’s girlfriends. And I don’t want to make my team-mates jealous by attracting her attentions” ;-P And I would shrug my shoulders and walk away without looking at their reaction – which I can say without an iota of doubt was jeers and laughter !!! They would have laughed their brains out at my statements.

Cutting back to the present - the aunties did notice me as a considerably older boy among their sugarbabies. I come early and do my warm and kick around with the tiny ones while the bigger boys troop in later. This gives a chance to do all the exercise and have the young kids entertain me with their take on football and how it should be played. Once I had a tutorial on how to kick a ball by a 5 year old who was disgusted at the way I was kicking the ball. After the ten minute session was over, I admitted that ‘some of the best advice comes for free and from the most unlikely of sources’.

Simple Joys :-)

Sitting at the airport, most of us can spend time observerving other passengers if not reading. And especially if there are some 'interesting' characters around, it is all the more difficult to keep you eyes on to the book that you are reading. I had a family with a couple and their 6 year old girl child sitting next to me the waiting lounge before the security check. As usual I was reading my book and also keeping a keen eye on them, for I am always fascinated with kids and can spend hours watching them do all their shenanigans !

The man was taking an international flight and the kid with her mother were taking a domestic one to Delhi. So they seperated with just a small hug and went on for their respective security checks. The man was soft but matter of fact and showed little emotions. So was the woman and surprisingly there was no hug for the child reserved by her father !My scheming mind was by now working over-time cooking up stories about how the couples lose their ability to indulge in public displays of affection, after a few years of marriage and etc etc.

I also finished with my checks and was again waiting to board, when I saw the girl and her mother sitting behind me. After a few moments, I saw the same man making his way across the waiting lounge and entering the international boarding lounge. The domestic and international sections were seperated by a glass partioning and hence we could see both the sides. The man didnt realise that his family was sitting across the lobby and unawares he settled down on his seat and was waiting.
The wife who was sitting a few rows behind me saw him and suddenly cried out in utter surprise !!!

Now this was sight to remember... this petite lady jumped from her seat and started waving frantically at her husband. And as expected the little one too joined in the fun and started prancing around. Immediately her husband looked up and saw his 'jumping wife and prancing daughter'. He just smiled and lifted a lazy arm over his head to wave at them. That's it !!!! The lady and her kid immediately ran across the few rows and came and sat in the first row of the domestic lobby - directly facing her husband who was seperated from them by a huge glass panel.

She had this lovely smile on her face while she was watching her husband and he too had a shy smile on his face. I was wondering on how lovely the moment was. Women love surprises, I am telling you. The same man evoked little emotion, when leaving for his flight check-in and now when they thought they had parted and won't meet each other ... they serendipitiously meet and this brings out heithro hidden emotions on her face. Lovely !!

But then, the man never even for a moment got up from his seat and never for a moment gave away anything more than a smile even after being surpirsed. Whereas his wife , who was a picture of solemnity a while back, was now jumping around like a litttle girl who has found her way into wonderland !! How different are the ways men and women react to the same situations, na ? When things are normal and expected, the women reflect a different personality. But when there is surprise in store, then we witness a completely differnt personality of a woman. She will emote and emote big time !! The guys will just take it all with a smile and a shrug of the shoulder... the lady will throw her poise and elegance out of the window and wear her heart on her sleeve ( or sleeveless !!) Interesting !!!

I could see that the woman was enjoying this tantalising situation of her husband sitting just ten meters away , facing her and yet not able to touch or speak to each other... it thrilled her to no end !! And he was just soaking in all the excitement that his wife was suddenly experiencing... how wonderful is a woman, who can find joy and pleasure out of such situations !! I am always amazed by this !!

Unforgetable learning for me !! This one !! Made my day !! Simple Joys !!!

Hiatus !

hey ! am back again ! I almost forgot I had this space on the web !
me been upto some music soul-searching ... so obviously I have to put this as my first post afte such a long time.... I begin my session after the hiatus with a list of songs that have caught my fancy the past few days. Here we go

1. Phil Collins - Something Happened on the way to Heaven
I have heard Phil Collins before but never did this song register in my head as much as it did that once when it was played on the FM. Lovely percussion on this song. The arrangement and the vocals of the legendary Phil Collins make it a peppy and energetic listen. Live performance is when the musicians in his band come out and prove their mettle. Come back home and watch its video each night before going to bed. :-) Yaaaa, Yaaaa, Rihanna and her umbrella has taken a back seat for a baldie and some fifty something, bearded men ! What an irony !!

2. Brad Paisley & Alison Krause - Whiskey Lullaby
Easily get slotted in my all time favourites. Had heard some Brad Paisley before and liked his vocal strength. But Alison Krause in this song was a revelation! My God, she sang well ! When I saw her standing there with both hands folded placed nervously in front of her, I was a bit sceptical as to whether she's been ever on stage or not? But when she started singing, I could feel the song,feel each note, each variation. The best thing about this song is the clarity of each syllable. Of course the song would not be here, without the melody. As Hugh Grant says in the movie Music & Lyrics melody/music is more important than the lyrics :-) But this song is a classic where both music and the lyrics are top class. This is songwriting at its best.

3. The Script - The Man Who Cant be Moved
Wonderful ! The Script comes to my notice with this track. Must admit had not heard their tracks earlier but this song made me stand up and take notice. Love the flow of the song. :-)

4. Pussy Cat Dolls - I Hate this Part
The other day I was speaking to my sister over phone and mid-way through, I started humming this tune. She waited, she waited and she waited...for me to stop.. but in vain ! Then I told her that this is a song that is just not leaving my lips and I have to sing it to get over it. Anytime of the day, it will just pop into your head and then there is no way to go.. Its like this irreprisble feeling that you cannot breathe without humming it. I invariably end up shaking my body to this song - be it the sombre settings of the office, the bike or bang in the middle of a play ... can you imagine, I ended up humming this song while watching a play , to the chagrin of the rest of the audience. My sister expressed her surprise like this " WHAT !!! Puuuuuussy Cat Dollsssss ???????? I can't believe this !! How is it that you are listening to such bands? I thought you hated the Britneys, the Christina augileras, the skimpy bunch? (A wicked laugh ). True ! I hate listening to that bunch or those whose contribution to a song is nothing but sing it in the confines of the studio and lip sync on stage.... I hate musicians who do not either compose or write or arrange the song. But anyways Pussy Cat Dolls' this track truly has caught my fancy against all odds. All the booty shaking aside, I love the way Nicole sings it and the melody in this song. Worth letting go my lofty ideal and stupid ego to enjoy some good music.

5. Nirvana - Come As You Are
Need I say anthing about this legendary piece? Well, its been long time since I had a Kurt Cobain track on my "Most played list". Keep humming this impromptu !

6. Nickelback - Gotta Be Somebody
After Spiderman's OST 'Hero', I had forgotten about Chad Kroeger. But a few weeks back I heard some giggly teen request for this song on the FM station and I was expecting some teen punk song... but the song started with a nice thrust and picked up a good melody as it went forward and culminated in a wonderfully pleasing rhythm. And I was like,.."Ummmm, I have heard that voice before !!" Yes, it was Chad Kroeger. His gruffy, hoarse voice, strangely seems so soothing to my ears. No wonder, now Nickelback's all tracks are often played in my household.

7. INXS - Afterglow
Wonderful song ! Cant comment much about the quality of the music or the lyrics, 'coz am still trying to figure it out. But makes it to the list due to the wondeful arrangement in the song. Well sung too and brings back INXS to my ears after the equally soothing 'Beautiful Girl' by the same INXS.


Well, there you go... these are favourites at the moment. Of course Coldplay, doesnt feature on this list because they do not qualify as this is a list of songs/bands that are not my favourites but are currently my favourite 'listens'. There will come a time shortly when some other songs will catch my fancy and then I will put them up here. :-)

There it is... Damn !! now i am again humming "I hate this part right here " This song is hell bent upon ruining my reputation !!! Lewis Hamilton, keep your cat out of my face man !!!

Does it help if you are like a boy in most of the times of your life but become a man, when it matters the most.... at times when you have to take a decison.

or

Does it help if you are like a man most of the times in your life, but act like a boy when it comes to the most important moments of your life... times when you have had to make decisions.

Out of the Title Race... For sure !!

I am depressed yaar !!! The moment Lucas and Mascherano stepped on to the pitch, I was livid. I know because I banged my hand against the wall and it has been hurting ever since. How can two holding midfielders be able to creat something in the absence of Steven Gerrard and Xabi Alonso ? For God's sake Rafa... this is Anfield. Have we not drawn enough matches here to learn from them? Champions do not fear losing !!!

As I witnessed the match progress, I could not help but wonder that Liverpool FC is short of quality players. It is a realization that had dawned upon us fans a couple of months ago when we were still winning games. Somewhere it was always lurking... the fear that we would soon run of steam and then these lack of quality bench strength would hurt us. And now today as I saw a struggling midfield, I felt sorry for Torres, Carragher, Stevie G, Alonso, Kyut... the only quality players in the side who give it their 100% to win....not just draw.

Come on who are we fooling here... we are only half of what a Manchester United team is.... Winners !!! Full credit to Sir Alex Fergusen and dis-credit to Rafael Benitez. Rafa has done so much of chopping and changing.... he has never given security to his players...not allowing the players to settle into a role.... Only Carragher and Pepe Reina have started each and every game of the season for the club. Rafa has let Robbie Keane go... I have no idea why... He said that Robbie was hard working player and he was trying very hard to play well... then why show him the door after spending $20 million on him. Can a quality player like him not be expected to hit form sooner than later...??? Ok you let a multi-million player go, but then whom have you brought into the side? Nobody. Nobody to replace Robbie.

Rafa, are you even serious about winning the Premier League? I doubt. You are afraid ! You are scared !!

And now Rafa you can kiss goodbye to your Champions League dreams as well. Our midfield cannot even close down the opposition and keep the ball. More worringly, there is no creativity and inventiveness in our side. Against a quality team we rely heavily on Gerrard and Torres to win or bail us out. This is not done. Simply not done !! The fraility against set-pieces is more than obvious.

I am sad at this turn of events... but I now am sure that we are out of the title race. All we can hope for is to keep a clean record at home...and just watch and applaud Man U show the footballing world, how it is done. I accept the fact that Liverpool have lost it. Its a sad day for us !!

Broken Strings

And I thought I was over this 'pop' thing. Every time I think that I have seen it all and am over my early love of POP songs, there comes in a song that just makes me question my 'likes' again.

I have been out of listening to the soft pop for quite some time. By this I mean that the modern artists have not appealed to me much with their compositions. Hence I have stuck on to ColdPlay, U2,Pink Floyd etc. But then I was taken aback by the charm of the latest single from James Morrisson called "Broken Strings". Nelly Furtado also lends her lovely voice to this duet and the moment I heard it a month or so back, I was swept off my feet.

Something so nice about this song... the way it builds up to a crescendo with thier voices interlacing to weave a smooth pattern. What a voice this fellow has !! No wonder his resemblance to Chris Martin ( Coldplay ) makes him even more fascinating to me.

Songwriting has still survived I guess. I will re-produce the lyrics here.... they will not do justice to the flow of the song when read. Just hear it out once... am sure you will not hate it. Not the best song of all times, but definitely a lovely song to restore my faith in POP music.

The parting gift !!!

I sometimes wonder what would I leave behind for my children, my beloved, my parents. What gift shall I give them, that would be precious enough?
If I were a painter, I would paint for them. If I were a musician, I would write a piece of music for them. If I were a poet, I would write poems for them. If I were a sculptor, I would give them an exquisite statue. If I were an engineer, I would build for them. If I were a doctor, I would make a panacea for them.....etc...etc...etc...

But I am a sales-man. Shall I sell myself for them?

Sometimes I do what I want to do. But most of the times I do what I have to do.

In the end, there is nowhere to go but where we come from !!!

Our Planet !!!

Please take some time out and check this link.

http://dsds.teriin.org/2009/index.htm

Sustainable development - what a powerful thought. Its not a fight, but its a feature that ought to be inherent in each one of us, the generation that is going to live on our planet for the next six or seven decades. Ignorance is not bliss here my dear friends. Lets just enlighten ourselves. Maybe, just maybe it would become an integral part of our psyche, our habits, our daily life and our character. I have written about our need to inculcate a few habits, changes, efforts into our daily life - an effort to not save our planet ( no heroic notions here ), but to sustain ourselves and fellow humans all over this planet.

Lets just read more about this summit called the Delhi Sustainable Development Summit happening on the 5th to 7th February 2009.

Developed Nations, Developing nations, Third World - I do not like all these terms. Its our planet ! OUR PLANET !! Lets do something to take care of it.