Hotels and middles aged men !

“Home is where the heart is”, “home-made food is the best food” – nice lines these and oft-repeated too, we all agree. I have always been fascinated by this penchant us commoners have of using famous idioms or phrases in between our conversations.  But I would like to propose a change in the usage of these famous lines. I propose we leave space or add space for relativity to be accommodated. Confused? Well let me explain with an example.

“Home is where the heart is for those who stay away”, “home-made food is the best food, for those who eat out otherwise” – getting my drift?  This is because people who stay at home or eat home food, secretly enjoy and cherish their times spent in hotels! No offense but I find the middle aged men enjoy their tours more than the young 20s something employee.

I have stayed in a few hotels across the country due to my travels and have always noticed the 40s something men who are there on business or official trips, feel more young, energetic and chatty at the hotels.  It seems they are soaking in the comforts, attention and variety of food and beddings. I am profiling these men but bear with me – they have been married 10-15 years or more, have kids, a modest house and good savings. They have been living in the same house with the same wife and the same kids day in and day out, eating the same food, going to the same temples and parks. Monotony is the norm and there is nothing new left to explore, be it in bed or in town.  Their desires from domesticity are dwindling and are satiated to a large extent.

Such men when they come on a business tour and stay in a 3-4 star hotel where the bed is soft, the tv is all for himself, the breakfast is complimentary, the room fridge stocks drinks and soda – tends to be in a better place mentally than at home.  He whistles while he bathes in the hot shower (compared to the mug and bucket bathing ritual at home), lathers the shaving gel and shampoo provided by the hotel, drapes the huge hotel towel around his bulge and admires himself in the mirror, trimming his moustache and strands of white hair.  There is nothing sexual about this; it’s just a person enjoying the comforts which are not available at home.  They step down from the elevator and greet the receptionists, ask some innate questions, plonk on the lounge sofa and glance through the newspapers before heading back to the room. In general they are extremely happy now. Of course in between their work hours they are extremely focused on their business and do not indulge, but once evening comes, they are back to their cheerful best.

 Yet there is no linkage between the socio-economic class of men and this behavior.  All men irrespective of where they come from, are happy to be away from home, it’s just the manifestations are in different ways. I sometimes wonder how their wives too must want a break from the chores and the monotony.  So I started noticing the women in the hotels. Yet I struggled to find happiness to the scale I noticed in the men folk.  The women are happy to be not cooking, cleaning and taking care of the house for a change, but they eat in silence, carry themselves with dignity, again irrespective of the socio-economic class they belong to and are in general very businesslike in their behavior. 

So I propose that the powers that be of the English language, need to use certain measure of relativity before coining such statements.  Maybe home is the best place form us young guys who have had enough of hotels and travels. Maybe home food is best food for us who shiver at another meal at the nearby hotel. Maybe hotels are for the uncles who need that break from the chaos and monotony of domesticity.  “Home is where the heart is – intermittently” ! 

It gets heavier as it goes on...

Mind diverts in its attention, the body tunes out, the soul goes for a walk and the thoughts come in. Mind and Matter – thoughts seem to be convalescing towards a concrete answer. An answer or maybe ‘the’ answer to ‘the’ question which will eventually be asked of any young upcoming professional either by an interviewer or by a senior executive or the discerning ‘to-be-father-in-law’.

There are different variations like “what is your objective/ambition in life?” , “what do you want to achieve?’, “where do you want to see yourself 15 years from now?” etc etc

I am yet to figure the answer to these questions and maybe they smell of monism to me. But well, materialism is something that I am not averse to, and hence it fits that I find an answer to these questions without mistaking myself to be a saint.

My current make-up of the answer is – I want to make money enough to buy myself an huge room full of books on a shelf.  My short term objective is to make enough money i.e disposable income, to be able to buy hardback books instead of buying paperbacks! Go figure that out, Mr. Recruiter/Father in law/mentor/shrink  (oops, did I spill out the beans?) ;-p

Look I started reading books  because a family friend gave a copy of Enid Blyton’s  Secret Seven. It was a hard back.  Being reasonable lower middle class in my schooling days, we considered books to be a source of expensive entertainment. Buying school books at the beginning of the year was a huge expense for which mom and dad had to save up months in advance. So the reading was limited to Enid Blyton borrowed from the school library, borrowed from a friend or found in the local old newspaper seller’s shop.  When other kids used to buy old copies of sportstar and filmfare, I was hunting for Enid Blyton – usually search was on for a hardback !

As years rolled on, borrowing continued but I had moved on to Hardy Boys, Jeffrey Archer, Mario Puzo and R K Narayanan. Still there wasn’t enough money to buy them. So I started permanently borrowing them  from some old uncle’s or aunt’s  collection.  I still have some of them. Must mention some ‘adult’ books that I ended up borrowing,  unaware of the thrills buried inside those pages – my first experience of adult literature in teenage – uufff, those were the days of innocent gratification !

Pursuing an MBA, I started buying some business/management/marketing related books that were a good read even after the studies were finished. Realizing the ‘high’ I was experiencing ‘owning’ those books, I started buying books from my first salary.  I was always against piracy and hence ended up buying proper editions. Over the last few years I have built up a decent collection of books. Each time I get promoted or get a hike in salary, my disposition towards the buying of books increased. The more I earned the more I bought. It was as if I was measuring my success in terms of the number of books that I bought. But hardbacks were still out of reach. 

Sister’s wedding, a house, a car, a bike, etc  maybe prevented me from getting those voluptuous hardbacks.  Excuses ?  Maybe.

Hence now that I have a chance to think of ‘the’ question – I realize that I want to earn more because of the necessity to buy myself hardback books.  Life seems going towards that ambition – a hardbound eventuality !