Thank You Bangalore !!!

I entered my room and just collapsed onto the bed ! Whew.. I was dead tired !! And no, it was not a working day... it was actually was a Sunday !!
The past few weeks have been very hectic. The amount of activities that I have been involved in are just hard to believe ! The past few weeks have just zipped by and I am actually feeling so happy about them. :-)

I would not have realized this fact, unless I had the recurring feeling that I was not reading much. Actually the early few weeks of me coming to Bangalore, I had turned into a voracious reader. And now, I am struggling to finish the current book that I started at least a month back. Quite unlike the 'bangalore me'that I have become. My dissappointement at not being able to get time to finish the book led me to analyze the reasons and lo ! behold!... what came out of the analysis is completely surprising. I am not able to read the book due to my various other commitments and activities that I have been so involved in for the past many weeks.. for e.g. friends, temple, exhibitions, theatre, sports, movies, internet etc etc. LOLZ!!! :-)

I cannot remember any other time in my life, when I was involved in so many activites. And it has to be said that being in Bangalore is the sole reason for this change. The amount of time spent in talking, chatting and meeting friends has gone up considerably. I have visited all of my friends strewn across the country, been to chennai, hyderabad and delhi especially to meet them. Visited all my relatives in Kerala and elsewhere, developed a very close relationship with my relatives in Bangalore itself. So much so that I have become a regular feature in their discussions and life. I feels so nice when there are so many people around you whom you love and whom you can actually make happy by visiting them and talking to them. How much of happiness it brings to them when your actions and reactions tell them that 'you care!' and when you involve them in your own life. It was touching realization !! :-)

Then comes the 'extra-curricular' activities... first up is theatre. Well, yes I have become a regular at the theatre shows in Bangalore and it gives me joy when I know that I have acquired a very healthy and refined habit .. that of going for plays. Its such a nice feeling to go to a play and not have to pay any exhorbitant amounts for it. The other day I took my friends Shiva, Anand and Deepta for the play. And it gladdened my heart when they all enjoyed the play immensely. It felt nice !!

Now on to the movies... well I have not got into the habit of watching all of them, but still I watch good movies. The other day I had to choose between Jab We Met and A Mighty Heart. And I chose the latter even though the former is a good movie and what I wanted to watch especially since it talked of love life etc... ha ! ha ! But still I went with the sensitive portrayal of Daniel Pearl's family and their struggles !! Psst... I did ultimately watch Jab We Met last week ( nice movie, by the way , I like Shahid Kapur. He is gem !)

Books !! My favourite !! I have now bought so many books and gifted so many to some of the most important people in my life! Wow, never thought I would do that... I enjoy scouting for some rare books and generally pick up books for myself and for my loved ones. Bookworm on M.G. Road, Crosswords, and small authentic books shops have become a regular feature in my hang out list.

Concerts - The concert scene in Bangalore is good and its a good outlet for people like me who do not have much work ! I have gone to many concerts and its awesome! We still had a bad experience with Jagjit Singh.. but still my habit has been cultivated and we are waiting for the Jazz & Blues Festival to happen again. Me and Sourabh

Then comes the cricket match - wow !! what a feeling being inside the crowd and watching the brightest stars of our country. I saw Dravid and Ganguly. What more Ganguly scored the Double century on that day and also Irfan Pathan - the Baroda boy ( my hometown ) also scored his maiden century in yours truly's presence. ( if only India take me for all their matches as a lucky mascot .. lolz!:-) ... Its such a long cherished dream !!! All fullfilled after coming here !!! THANK YOU BANGALORE!

Then of course, TEMPLE AND GOD!! Spirituality has the strange habit of befriending you when you are down and out and are facing challenges in your life. You are given the option to either embrace it and help yourself overcome the hurdles or just brush it off and self destruct. Am happy that I chose the former path and now I strictly believe in the principle that God knows what is best for each of us. Do your duty, love people and do not think too much about what the others feel for you. Only think of how you can love them.

Then there was the wonderful wonderful wonderful trip to Theni - Shiva's native place. Oh boy! what a relief it was to be with a family on the day of Diwali. I took my first off from office and it was pure Bliss. The scenic beauty of the place was so refreshing !!! Absolute delight it was to ride on the TVS Scooty over the zig-zagging roads of Theni. Mountains and rivulets, banyan trees and rabbits, meadows and bushes, caves and adivasis !! Lolz.. All were there giving attendance. :-)
On diwali night I went to Shiva’s friend’s house and there were like 5 kids all waiting for us. The love with which the friend’s mother embraced me ( a total stranger to her ) was so touching and reassuring. I could not remember any time in the past few months when a woman had touched me (pun intended ) :-)
It was a night spent bursting crackers and eating sweets and other savouries. Lovely moments that I will always treasure all my life. Then came the Meenakshi temple trip to Madurai. I got involved in my favourite activity ie. Praying. Me and shiva, visited so many temples those two days ! boy oh boy ! Temples hidden inside the mountains were real fun to discover , especially a Maha Kali temple and a Ganesha temple – hidden inside the foothills of the mountains. Peace reigned all over both of us and it showed in the kind of conversations that we had. Deep, meaningful and engrossing exchange of intellectual tit-bits !


And yes, I have started smiling more and becoming less angry. The other day in office, Pennamma madam said something that has deeply affected me. She told me, "Anup, you please do not come to me with this crying face!. Smile and come whatever be the prolem just like Sudeep here does. Then and only then will I even feel like helping you." It shook me to the core. I realized that I must follow what my best friend had told me long time back in my college. She had asked me to be less serious about things. And I had sincerely tried but failed. Only when I got into this stge of my life when I don't have anything to lose,did I realize it. The result being that I care two hoots about whatever be the problem. I just smile and try to think of the ways out rather than fret about the lack of resonse from other colleagues. I have started smiling a lot. So nowadays Pennamma madam comes forth to me and asks me if she can help me !! What a change !!!

So now I go to temple quite often on weekdays when I come back early and definitely on weekends. I do pujas for my loved ones and also pray for them. It gives me a nice feeling and a deep sense of contentment. Somewhere it makes me feel a better person considering the amount of pain and depression that I have caused to my loved ones.

Life has not come a full circle!! Definitely not !!! Neither have I found any reason to be alive or found any goal in life. No,,,, I will never be in that frame of mind again. But life certainly has become a completely different entity for me. An entity which is no more a burden on me, but a sweet responsibility.

All these things and more are keepinG me very very busy. I do not remember the last time that I was at home on a sunday or saturday for more than an hour. Either go to give clothes for ironing, or wash clothes, or go help some friend in searching for a house, or meeet the professors , meet friends, clean the house, play with the roadside kids, attend art shows, book fests, concerts, football matches, moves, or help relatives with some thing or the other... bas.. chalta rehta hai yaar... hence not a single sunday or saturday, have i been able to sit in one place and relax.. But I do not mind this...as long as there are people who need me to be around, I will be around for them. No matter what !!!

The loss of innumerable weekends hopefully is a fair price to pay for all the tit - bits of happiness that I have somehow managed in my life through all these activities and hopefully I can continue making up for the loss of my soul by not thinking about it. !

Chalo now its time for me remember my loved ones, say a silent prayer and then push myself into sleep. Yeah, almost forgot... sleep is still a doubtful proposition ! Still need to conquer those nightmares ! ha ! ha ! ha !

God Bless ! ! ! ( today I am again happy because I just insured my life for a huge sum. What to do with my salary yaar... better I pay EMIs, so that my parents can atleast get some money after my death ! )