:-)

Biggest success of my professional career was today. And somehow it feels so so so not worth it when I realise that I don't really have anyone to share this with other than my mother. Called her up immediately and obviously she was happy. But sometimes its just not enough. You want that someone to be there with whom you can gush about it, describe it, tell about the ups & downs while working towards your mission, etc etc. Felt like calling up a potential 'good friend' but then refrained knowing that that person is least intersted. Felt like calling up my best friend, but then he would be busy and we don't normally gush and swoon over things like this. We are too 'chilled out' for that kind of a talk.

It would have been nice if I could come back home, take a shower and go out for a quiet drink with someone, take a walk, sit on a bench in some park, watch the clouds and the moon and just feel immensely satisfied at a job well done after one year of effort. Instead what did I do? - sit up till late in office, eat some &*$%#@& meals, come home and sleep. Then I took too much of pity on myself and texted someone in the hope that I could get an ear. But nopes, all are either too busy or do not really care about me. So again I took too much of pity on myself and started this rant over my blog. Lovely na ! Anyways only time it hurts is when I think of the innumerable times that I have lent an ear to their rants, their joys and sorrows, sometimes at the cost of my own work and convenience. This someone has called me and got all hour long lessons on various things in the middle of the night or middle of my work and I have never refused - realising that how much its important for me to listen and be there. Well, am also human and I also sometimes make the mistake of expecting something or the other from people around me. Like how I expected my big bosses to react when I showed them the big deal that I cracked. Expected them to praise me ( ya, no shame in accepting that I long for praise). But they just nooded their heads and got on with their work. Does it hurt? No, but it's dissappointing. But it hurts when someone for whom you have always been there, does not react the way you want them to. No, in fact even if they dont react the way you want them to, its still ok. But its when you make it so conspicious to them that you need someone to talk to, and yet they ignore you, thats when it hurts.

Thank god for mothers. If she had not called me up in the evening and spoken about it, I would have felt very bad. She at least knows that all I need is two minutes of human voice or human touch to boost my spirits. Hmmmm... so thats it... frustruating realising that probably this is why people get married. They will have someone to come back to, some bosom to rest their heads on in joy or in sorrow, some soothing words or touches to make you feel cared for. Beiing together matters. A lot. Distance doesnt make the hearts grow fonder. It just erodes the important role that eyes play.

Chalo its getting to be a long post without any intent. So I will stop now.
Celebrate all you lucky ones....but don't derive sadistic pleasure. God doesn't like sadists :-) Lol !