Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Delirium - Blabberings of a feverish mind and body
Delirium ----- when each and every part of your body aches, when you cannot figure out whether it is day or night, when you close your eyes you see nightmares, when you open your eyes you see ghosts, when you do not have any control over your tongue and blabber our unimaginable sentences, when you do not have any control over who you are messaging and whom you are mailing, when you do not have any control over what you are blogging, when you feel like the most sinful person in the whole wide world, when you feel betrayed by the very persons whom you trusted, when you feel guilty as well as a martyr, when you have such a mixture of emotions that you cry and laugh at the same time, when you feel alone, when you feel deprived, when you feel weak, when you struggle for the grip over your life,when you do things against what your friends tell you, when you think you have friends but a deeper introspection says otherwise, when you feel like having been tossed around like a cabbage piece in a salad, when you know that the temperature that you are running for the past 2 days is just a sign of the obvious, when you are away from the biggest ravager of your life and still cannot hate - that what is called love... pure and blissful, a feeling not enjoyed by many. Lucky are the ones who are in this phase. I am in that. Pain never felt so welcome.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Your blogs demonstrate a lot of morose and crestfallen picture of what you are going through. The reason - 'you alone know'.
I believe, it is not what happens to you that matters but it is the way you react to it that matters the most.
The first step is to stop moping, you have to respect your abilities.People often tend to carry 'the' idealistic dream and believe they can connect only with this one situation or person and then land up sulking when things dont go 'the' same way.
Understand, no relationship can be a stigma. Even if you feel it is, learn to turn it into an advantage.
You have a long life ahead, friend, enjoy it to the fullest. Make new friends and move on.
@anon,
* My blog also has some non-morose and perfectly normal posts. I guess you haven't read those. When I cannot keep things inside but want to pen them down, that is when the morose posts happen. Anyways.
* Only people who have courage can carry on the idealistic dream. I agree sometimes courage flirts dangerously with foolishness but I would like to think otherwise in my case ( for the sake of just protecting my stance :-))
We give up on our dreams a bit too easily when it comes to our relationships. Why dont we do that in our professional careers? Do we give up so easily in our work as well? I guess ' No !' Then why should I give up.
And why do we all have this pre-ocupation with 'moving-on', 'enjoy life', ' don't care a shit?' etc etc ... our society is becoming too 'flip-floppy'. When you know what you did and what you feel is right, when you have the self-respect to keep your promises, when you have taken a step with a lot of thought... then why is equated to cowardice.
I always believe in doing what my heart says... yes we must have the courage to face our troubles but there should be some outlet for our pent-up emotions, right? My blog gives me that freedom. :-)
thank you for the comment. appreciate the good intentions that you have. :-)
But this is a bloke who has tons and tons of conviction ! I welcome your reaction.
Dont confuse or rather compare having a career with having a life!
Why Not? !!!!
In fact, it just emphasises that when something as unimportant as a career warrants a 'never say die' attitude, then it holds even more true for the most important - your life !
Isn't it?
Do you have any other justification ?:-)
Post a Comment