English thoughts

 

The kid next door when she converses with her mom uses probably the only language that she knows to speak – English. The Malayali couple who are dating each other speak in English. The Hindi-knowing guys who have been friends for years speak to each other in English most of the times. The father who talks to his son’s friends uses English to connect.

Sometimes it sticks out in my head that English dominates our lives so much so much so that I blog in English.

I do understand that the kids are taught English in school but I still do not understand how this became so rampant that kids in Bangalore can’t speak any language other than English. It does limit their ability to connect to people instantly. The maid, the paperwala, the autowala, the vegetable vendor – how will the kids converse with them?  It instantly disconnects these English speaking kids from the world that is different from their own. So,

Question - does knowing mother-tongue or Hindi, matter?  - YES !

Consider though the fact that even these people who can speak only English are many a times able to connect to the crowd because of their ability to speak to people with much more than words.

Now comes the part where you wonder why the young couple also speaks English. Its strange ‘cuz one would imagine that they being from kerala, born and studied in Kerala – they should be more comfortable speaking their minds in Malayalam. Yet, for some confounding reason incomprehensible to my brain, they choose to speak in the ‘yo english’ that most young mallus speak in these days. No,neither are  they  any wannabes nor are they  trying to learn better by talking in English. They just are highly comfortable in English. Did our reading of English books when young, shape our thinking to be in English?  Maybe yes. That is why our intimate feelings are given shape in the As, Bs and Cs of the island nation.

By the way is it shameful to have ditched a woman/man for their lack of English speaking skills? What if a person not comfortable with English is dating a person who thinks and expresses in English? Is the need for speaking out and being understood far more important than being with a person whom you love in spite of not being able to speak comfortably?

So coming back to the idea of the mallu couple, I still haven’t understood why they would speak in English?  The only plausible answer is that they were reading English books and articles all their life due to the English schooling and hence they are attuned to speaking and thinking in English. Hence their intimacy is expressed in the Queen’s language.

Chasing our tails !

Family Support – a strange concept seldom fully understood by all of us. What is it, why is it needed, is it needed at all, who needs it, who doesn’t, should one need it, when is it needed or more interestingly does it really exist?

The agony aunts, the gurujis, the tarot reader lady – all will tell you how important the family support is for living a mentally healthy life. I frankly wouldn’t want to be dishing out the same advice but unfortunately I am going to echo their sentiments howmuchever I loathe to be in their company.

I did my schooling at Baroda living with my parents, but my under-graduation was in Vallabh Vidyanagar, a small town about 55 Km  away. Once I started living there in a rented place, I was physically away from my family for the first time. Most people remember the time when they smell the first wisps of the ‘free air’ and true to the typical teenage behavior, I too started to ‘live my life’. The physical distance soon started creeping into the space between the ears as well and soon family was forgotten for 5 days of the week, till the time weekend came and it was time to go home for the Sunday.  No, I always used to go home but then I stopped talking to mom even though I was in possession of a mobile phone for the first time in my life. I used to speak to her only when I was home on Sunday. She used to find it difficult but I guess she saw her son becoming a different person and she was happy that he was eating spinach, brinjal, wasn’t complaining about her rotis, washed his underwear himself, didn’t fight with his sister, didn’t slip into his mom’s bosom for every rhyme and reason etc etc etc.  Hence she reconciled to the tangible gains and was trading off the closeness with her son.

College even in my MBA days was mostly a breeze and hence I never felt the need to talk to my parents everyday although whenever I used to fight with my girlfriend, I used to feel the need to talk to my mom – of course not about my gf as she didn’t know back then, but about general stuff like Dad’s snoring, my sister’s hatred for milk, the neighbour’s scandalous marriage, my friend’s elopement from baroda etc. 

It was only really during my time in Bangalore that I started speaking to her daily. When I started to work, I didn’t really feel the ‘breeze’ but rather the stillness of gravity. I was on the ground, being sucked into the shape of an amoeba – or the lack of it !  so when Life happened, I felt the need for my family. Talking to mom, dad, sister, cousins, aunts – all started happening. I realized how good these people were to me and how they would love to hear my voice as much as I would love to hear theirs. It  became a daily routine to call mom at any time of the day I felt like talking – during my travel, during my waits for customer meetings, during my tea sessions on the road side, or in office after a lot of work.

It gave immense peace of mind when I used to cut the call and then look at the world around me. I knew the world inside me was fine.

My young recently-out-of-college friends are out there fighting the same battle with work-life after college and they too struggle. I have this friend who has 14 hr work hours and gets so worked up about her work-life that she seldom finds the time or the mood to talk to her parents. I have this another friend who works hard and spend his time looking at his failed love-life – never getting enough time to think about his parents who hardly get the encouragement from their son to talk to them.

All of these kids have a problem- work, love, bad boss, bad friends, bad bf or gf etc etc but again what stands out is their unwillingness to give their support system a chance to kick in to their lives. Why not speak to your parents – not about your troubles, but maybe about life in general? Talk about what they ate, what they did, tell them what you ate and what you did. Gossip !!!! Make it a habit and soon you will be so full of oxygen that your brain will function better.  Unless of course you are fighting with your parents ;-) 

Some people do like to keep to themselves when they are going through a rough time, they don’t feel like talking or even being with friends – maybe I am also one of them, but still I feel one should make an exception for ones parents or family.  I am sounding pedantic but guess what – it works for me ! And I somehow deeply believe that it will work for others as well !

Lagori

Had stumbled upon a new band from Bangalore's music bylanes! Must admit they have created an impression on my sensibilities with their songs ! Three of their songs are out on the net for a listen:
1. Aasma - free download available ! listen to this song first !
2. Jeene Do - the band's fav song
3. Ni Re Sa -


I love everything about this band till now and hope they are soon recognized. As they are just working on their 4th song, guess an album is a bit far away ! The vocals of Shashank is something that I absolutely trip on ! And good clean meaningful lyrics !

Dunno how much of my recommendation matters but would urge you all to listen to their songs:
http://www.reverbnation.com/fan/control_room/1353846?tab=fan_dashboard&subnav=account_preferences#!/lagori

or on fb

http://www.facebook.com/#!/LagoriIndia  


Peace out !
Love
anup

My House

Check This Out Folks !! What do you think? The living room of the house I currently live in :-) The book shelf is hand made by a friend, the lamp on top of the book shelf is also hand made :-) Just need a 'chataai' as DG sir suggested for the floor ! P.S. - can anyone tell me how to make the picture look bigger than current?

Discovered at the wrong time !

Well, sometimes you wish that your wish of happiness for someone else were not to come true and yet when it does it leaves you happy and sad at the same time. Happy 'cuz you really want the situation to be happy no matter what... and sad 'cuz there are still things left to be mulled over and pondered over before the happiness can pervade!

Confused ! well.... I have decided to ramble a bit ! State of mind maybe !

damn it, these official trips come on the absolutely wrong days. Today out of a curious coincidence I was thinking of something and then stumbled upon that something through a harmless poke ! Well I am gonna be cryptic here...go hang me if you wish !

I discovered this absolute treasure trove.... this treasure to enlightenment.... this treasure to restlessness...and damn it that I gotta get ready to go to another official trip into Karnataka's hinterland ! Now all I will do is keep thinking about this in the bus and maybe for many days to come !

This is what happens when you stop working and start looking around aimlessly ! you stumble and sometimes stumble for good ! See... i can sense a lot of cryptic creativity inside me right now... good that i gotta stop cuz if i sit here for 5 minutes more, i am gonna be missing my bus and my deal !

A song not yet understood

Would this do
To make it all right
While sleep has taken you
Where I'm out of sight

I'll make my getaway
Time on my own
Search for a better way
To find my way home
To your smile

Wasting days and days
On this night
Always down and up
Half the night

Hopeless to reminisce
Through the dark hours
We'll only sacrifice
What time will allow us
You're sighing... sighing

All alone
Though you're right here
Now it's time to go
From your sad stare

Make my getaway
Time on my own
Needing a better way
To find my way home
To your smile


Can someone help me with this song's actual meaning?

Mish Mash !

I go around Bangalore every now and then in search of a cheap meal. Pity I fail to find one every time. The city boasts of all kinds of cuisine restaurants and dhabas but when you want a tasty healthy vegetarian food prepared in a hygienic kitchen, you will more often draw a blank.

It is important to dress well even when a guy is single and is out in the city. Invariably all men check out other girls. It irritates girls but then it does not offend them much if you are well dressed and seem to be a harmless guy just giving some health supplement to his eyes. I enjoy it when I look at the girl and she seems to not mind it. It’s fun ! When guys are carelessly dressed or downright pathetically dressed, the girls perceive some sort of a danger to them and hence take offense at even a harmless unintentional glance at them. I might be wrong but hey my opinion.

I have a huge irritation to mothers who accompany their daughters to office interviews ! Why oh why do they think that their daughter needs that extra dose of safety from a bunch of docile, already haggled corporate uncles? Beats me all the time ! They should rather accompany their daughters to the neighbourhood store or to her bus-stop as there are half a dozen uncles peering at her from their balconies, or ruffians trying to brush against her. But on second thoughts even this is not needed as how long will you protect your girl? She has to experience all of this to know how bad the world out there is. As much as I hate to say this but then I have no clue what else to say or do in this regard. Didn’t I just digress from the main topic? Screw it !

When someone says “I have done a lot of research on this and….” What does that mean ? Research is reading up on the net, newspapers, etc? I doubt if that is right. Just reading on some matter does not mean that you have the right to claim expertise on that topic. Especially if the topic is something like JanLokpall bill, gender inequality, economic reforms, love, psychology….etc etc…. and many such topics that do not have a right or a wrong defined. Basically one can make an opinion based on research, but not a statement.

I have a deep abhorrence towards people who smoke. This disgust is manifested only when I see them smoking. I don’t hate them at the other times when they are just normal people without that twig in between their fingers. I find it pathetic that they suck at a piece of stuffed paper, as if it some life force. Isn’t it disgusting that grown up men and women behave so? Come on !

I travel to kerala quite often from Bangalore. Every time I pass through Ettimadai Amrita campus, be it bus or train. And every time I wake up around that time ! strange ! I just need to look at the sky to realize that I am near Amrita – my alma mater ! each and every journey the past 4 years and each and every time this has happened. Amazing !

This curious incident that happened once when i was in Mysore, still makes me smile. I was out near the palace trying to find a place to have breakfast and I ended up in front of a furniture shop. Spotting a mirror on the dressing table kept on display, I instinctively started setting my hair right. I was combing with my fingers, when I noticed the owner of the shop staring at me. I didn’t understand why his gaze was so nasty and his facial expression turning into a dramatic frown ! I guess he was trying to dissuade me from continuing my pruning session. Being the timid boy that I am, I immediately stopped fiddling with my hair in the mirror, said sorry to the shop owner and walked away. I still haven’t for the life of me figured out what I did wrong in that shop. Did I harm the mirror by looking into it? Did the owner think that its value will be reduced if someone peered into it? It’s still a mystery to me. Also I wonder why I had to say sorry to him!!!???